TAMPA, Fla. — The search begins: for Mexican television hosts, disc jockeys without a conscience and, most of all, puppets.

The group isn't mutually exclusive.

And, yes, some of the most probing and, inarguably, inappropriate questions at the carnival known as Super Bowl Media Day - or, as advertised Tuesday on the Raymond James Stadium scoreboard, NFL Network Media Day (available on selected cable outlets) - have been asked by a 99-cent, bedecked athletic sock on the arm of some reporter wearing a wig.

The puppet might even have fake hair, too.

It's 10 a.m. The heat is building. There's Bill Bidwill moving through the crush, wearing a bow tie.

It's on. Somewhere. Dress for excess

Remember Michelle Pfeiffer, looking lovely on the piano in the Fabulous Baker Boys, singing Makin' Whoopee? Joel Bengoa might have borrowed that dress.

His long mane of blond hair, on the other hand, might have at one point been gathering dust on a Styrofoam skull at a Mexico City beauty salon. A feather boa around the neck, elegant elbow-length gloves and heart-shaped sunglasses, all red, accent the synthetic hair, as Bengoa, a correspondent for Telemundo, mingles among the Dockers demographic.

"I'm a fairy tale," Bengoa explains, or doesn't.

He was a swami last year.

At least he didn't have to wear lipstick back then.

Dancing with tackles

Another sequined gown, but Renee Sapp wears this one well. She and partner Scott Montague, both professional dancers, are giving rhumba lessons to a pair of Cardinals defensive tackles, Alan Branch and Gabe Watson, on a makeshift parquet dance floor for the syndicated TV show Entertainment Tonight.

"I want the trophy!" Branch screams, and he's not talking about the Lombardi but a disco ball affixed to a hunk of wood.

Branch - sporting a tattoo that bears the name of his old break- dancing group - shows off a move called "The Matrix" in his efforts to win the prize.

"That thing would be hot in my TV room," he says.

"It's a great thing for Media Day," ET host Kevin Frazier says during a pause in the competition.

"Because at Media Day, what are you really going to get? You're not going to get anything earth-shattering on Media Day."

Mistaken identity

Los Angeles DJ Vic "The Brick" Jacobs, wearing a Davy Crockett fur hat, sidles up to 6-foot-4, 332-pound Arizona guard Deuce Lutui and immediately asks him to bust out a Samoan war chant.

"I'm Tongan, man," Lutui insists.

"Can you give me a Tongan war cry, my brother? Ahhhhh!" Jacobs shouts. "(NBA player) Elton Brand told me to come and see you because you are a samurai warrior."

"I'm not a samurai," Lutui shoots back. "I'm Tongan. . . . But I watch a lot of Bruce Lee movies."

Countdown to crazy

Still no puppets, a true void in the proceedings. MSNBC's Keith Olbermann is asked whether there are fewer "crazies" at Media Day than in past Super Bowls.

"There's a woman giving rhumba lessons. There's ferns down there," he responds, pointing toward a TV set replete with potted plants. "And if you remember, there hasn't been a true piece of news out of this since maybe '86."

Suddenly, a red dress saunters by.

"Does that answer your question?" Olbermann deadpans. "This poorly coifed man. Where is he from?"

Telemundo, he's told.

"Naturally."

Judgment call

Warren Sapp, the former Buccaneers great and Dancing with the Stars contestant, plays judge as the rhumba contest concludes. He gives Branch an 8, Watson a 7.

The Cardinals, NFC champions, win their second title since 1947.

The Media Day lunch break ensues.

Feminine touch

Telemundo's back, and this time, it's for real. Mireya Grisales is curvy and definitely not a man, sporting high heels, white athletic socks, knee and elbow pads, a washcloth-size skirt and a half-shirt that reads "Dream Team."

Pittsburgh's Keyaron Fox demonstrates proper positioning as a linebacker and lets out a guttural growl.

"That was a little icebreaker," he says afterward. "I was expecting a lot more serious questions, but I do appreciate it."

Real fan

Ross Mathews, better known as Ross the Intern on NBC's Tonight Show, has changed out of his red Kurt Warner jersey from the earlier media session and traded it for a white Ben Roethlisberger version.

He's gathering material for a spot to appear on Friday night's program.

"Everyone knows that I'm here to have fun," Ross says, lightly grabbing his inquisitor's hairy arm. "But everyone's surprised that I'm a real football fan."

The comedian proves it by walking up to 6-foot-9, 330-pound Pittsburgh offensive lineman Jason Capizzi and telling him his favorite football movie scene appears in Bridges of Madison County.

"You're like the Brawny paper-towel guy," Ross tells the hulking Capizzi.

Dancing the day away

The dancing has resumed on the parquet floor. This time, Steelers long snapper Jared Retkofsky, safety Tyrone Carter and cornerback Bryant McFadden are the contestants.

Who will win the coveted disco-ball trophy?

Village who?

Chicago-based Mouth piecesports.com is in the middle of interviewing Pittsburgh cornerback Deshea Townsend and compares someone with the "steelworker reject in the Village People." Townsend's face goes blank.

"YMCA?" she prompts him, trying to jog his memory. "The cowboy? The Indian?"

Townsend has never heard of the disco legends. He was born in 1975.

Who is that guy?

A character to rival the Lady in Red finally emerges. He's wearing platinum-blond, bleached hair, sharpened to a point, and a Steelers uniform.

Wait a minute, that's really Pittsburgh kicker Jeff Reed sporting the day's best Super Bowl 'do, other than the Lady in Red.

To the victor . . .

Part II of the dancing competition is done and McFadden earns the top prize.

"It's the Super Bowl," Carter says, despite the defeat. "What else can you ask for?"

Some puppets would be nice . . .

McFadden hoists the disco-ball trophy.

"It's special," he says, adding it's nice to bring home some hardware six days before the big game. "I'm going to show it off to the rest of the guys and give them a chance to hold it."

Anger management

Steelers safety Ryan Clark is on one of the interview risers. He associates his ability to deliver big shots on game day to his inability to run his household seven days a week.

"Maybe that's the anger you see on Sunday. It builds up all week. The frustration of not winning arguments and not getting what I want. I figure somebody's got to pay for it."

Last call

The clock has nearly hit zero as Media Day draws to a close - but not before one more costumed TV host in a wig makes his last rounds.

Karim Mendiburu resembles long-maned Steelers safety Troy Polamalu from under a Telemundo helmet. He's sweating profusely.

And for just a second, it seems as if he has a sock over his hand and wrist that's sporting a Rastafarian hairdo. It must be the heat, now near 80 degrees.

"Not this year," Mendiburu says, hinting at previous experience in that realm.

"I had the puppet before," he adds in broken English.

But not anymore.

"The puppet sucked. It's time for new stuff, man."

Kickoff

NUMBERS GAME

6-0 record in the post- season for the Steelers in games running back Willie Parker has started. He has one 100-yard game in those six, his 146 yards against the Chargers in the AFC divisional round.

THE ONE

Steelers receiver Nate Washington is the only player in the league from Tiffin (Ohio) University. Washington had three 1,000-yard seasons at the school and made the Steelers as an undrafted rookie in 2005.

"It helped me concentrate on football instead of worrying about playing in the NFL," he said.

NOT A THOUGHT

Cardinals owner Bill Bidwill, who before this season had seen his team win one playoff game in more than three decades as the team's sole owner, said he never considered selling the team in any of those years.

"It never crossed my mind," he said. "I love the business, I'm accustomed to it. I don't let it get to me if we have a bad game or a bad year. I just go back into it and try to get better."

HE SAID IT

"Yes, a little bit, I do. I know where all the good steak houses are in those cities."

Bidwill, on if he misses the team playing in the NFC East

Game day

* Who: Pittsburgh Steelers (14-4) vs. Arizona Cardinals (12-7).

* When: 4:28 p.m. MST Sunday.

* Where: Raymond James Stadium (72,500 capacity), Tampa, Fla.

* TV/radio: KUSA-Channel 9; KKFN-FM (104.3).

* Who's favored: Steelers by 7.

Media Day rewind

A review of memorable Super Bowl Media Day exchanges.

* XLII: Female television reporter Ines Gomes Mont, from TV Azteca in Mexico City, showed up in a wedding dress and asked Patriots quarterback Tom Brady to marry her.

* XXXIV: A reporter asks St. Louis Rams defensive end Jay Williams: "Is Ram a noun or a verb?"

* XXXIV: A reporter asks Tennessee Titans defensive tackle Joe Salave'a about his relationship with the football. "I'd say it's strictly platonic," Salave'a said.

* XXXIV: A reporter asks St. Louis Rams quarterback Kurt Warner: "Kurt, two questions: Do you believe in voodoo and can I have a lock of your hair?" Warner's reply: "No."

* XXXIV: For Rams offensive tackle Orlando Pace: "After the game, in the shower, what's your favorite bar of soap?"

* XXXIII: To Broncos quarterback John Elway: "Are you going to listen to Stevie Wonder perform at halftime?"

* XXXII: To Broncos fullback Detron Smith: "What size panties do you think you'd wear?"

* XXVIII: A reporter asks Buffalo Bills running back Thurman Thomas how he gets psyched up for the big game: "I read the newspaper and look at the stupid questions you all ask."

* XXVII: A reporter asks Dallas Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman during Media Day held at Dodger Stadium: "Troy, does it seem a little strange answering football questions in a baseball stadium?" Aikman: "Not really."

* XXII: To Redskins offensive lineman Mark May: "How does it feel to block for the first black quarterback in the Super Bowl?"

* XV: A reporter asks Oakland quarterback Jim Plunkett: "Is it your mother who's blind and your father who's deaf, or the other way around?"

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