She left him or tried to.

But he wouldn't let her go.

That's the case for nearly half of women murdered by intimate partners: Their efforts to break free precipitate their deaths, the National Institute of Justice says.

On Tuesday night, Amber Cremeens, 34, was shot to death after her car was run off the road. Police are seeking her ex-boyfriend.

Each year, nearly 5.3 million U.S. women ages 18 and older are victimized by an intimate partner, resulting in nearly 2 million reported injuries and 1,300 deaths, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The Department of Justice reports that more than 85 percent of intimate partner violence victims were women.

It's not always obvious to the victim or the outside world that she's in a relationship that could turn violent. The perpetrator might never have laid a hand on the victim before. And it's not uncommon to mistake some signs of abuse, such as intense jealousy, for indications of caring, said Denise Washington, executive director of the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

"Most people think it starts off with women being hit and battered and bruised, but it's much more subtle than that," she said. "When he objects to a certain outfit. When he objects to hanging out with your friends. What begins to happen is the woman is slowly being isolated, and her behavior controlled. You don't get to have drinks with friends because he wants you to come right home. You don't get to see your family. At any point during that continuum, violence can happen."

A witness to Cremeens' death in Wheat Ridge told police he saw a man fire three shots at close range into her car. Firearms were used in more than half of domestic violence deaths in the seven-county metro area from 1996 to 2004, according to a 2006 study by the Metro Denver Fatality Review Committee.

Amy Miller, the coalition's public policy director, said there's a misperception that guns in the home are a good means of self-protection for women against domestic violence or sexual assault.

Research shows otherwise, she said. A study by the American Journal of Public Health found that women whose abusers had access to guns were nearly eight times more likely to be killed.

"We're obviously not trying to take some stance at the coalition that firearms are bad and no one should have a firearm," Miller said. "It's just that we recognize - and our state and the federal government recognize through the passage of many laws regarding domestic violence and firearms - that they're a deadly combination."

Some grim statistics

Almost half of all murders in Colorado are committed by an intimate partner. The vast majority of these victims are female. Here are some statistics from the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence:

14,123 domestic violence criminal cases were filed in Colorado county courts in 2006.

41 people in Colorado died as a result of domestic violence in 2006; 19 children were killed as a result of family violence from 2000 to 2006.

7 incidents of murder-suicide occurred in 2006, resulting in the deaths of 15 people.

6,341 people were turned away from Colorado shelters in 2007 because of a lack of capacity, a 7 percent increase from 2006.

The signs

Here are some warning signs of a potentially abusive person:

* Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid his or her anger?

* Do you feel pressured by your partner when it comes to sex?

* Do you feel nervous around your partner, or are you afraid to disagree with your partner?

* Does your partner criticize or humiliate you in front of other people?

* Does your partner always check up or question you about what you're doing?

* Does your partner repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing or flirting with other people?

* Does your partner tell you that if you changed they wouldn't abuse you?

* Are you expected to do things to please your partner, rather than to please yourself?

* Does your partner's jealousy stop you from seeing friends or family?

* Does your partner make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy or inadequate?

* Has he or she ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?

* Does your partner prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do? * Do you feel that nothing you do is ever good enough for your partner?

* Does your partner say they will kill or hurt you or themselves if you break up with them?

* Does your partner make excuses for behavior, blaming alcohol or drugs or their temper, or saying they were "just joking"?

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