Our Valentine's gift to you, dear readers . . .

Get creative with our blank canvas (sketch, paint, color or clip an image for your sweetie) and our ready-to-personalize sentiment.

We know you've been telling yourself to pick up a box of candy or a dozen roses for days. Now, even if it weren't for the fact that you have $3 in your bank account, all that remains on the shelves are wilted blooms and cheap chocolates.

The Rocky to the rescue on the big day.

Inspired by the classic Mad Libs, we've designed the bare bones of a card, leaving space for you to add in your own nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs.

We suggest gluing the card to heavier stock before folding it and filling in the blanks (both words and images.)

If you're completely out of imagination, read on for some ideas.

For the girlfriend/boyfriend on your last nerve:

To my ball and chain: Whenever I gaze upon your dwindling portfolio, I am overtaken with remorse.

How best to show my sense of disgust for you?

While I'd like to shower you with shower soap and cheap cologne to mask your body odor, with the economy and all, my wallet has seen better days. Instead, I'll shower you with little reminders of our time together.

Remember the whirlwind trip we took to a cheap motel, where we dined on greasy food and you picked up that stomach virus you shared with me? We spent hours vomiting after dinner that night.

The memories I've described - not flowers or jewelry or even a lousy store-bought card - define our feelings for each other.

So accept this humble card from this wannabe millionaire, my Valentine.

With regrets,

- (your name here)

For Mom:

To my beloved mother: Whenever I gaze upon your chocolate brownies, I am overtaken with hunger. How best to show my love for you?

While I'd like to shower you with handmade cards and candy hearts, with the economy and all, my piggy bank has seen better days. Instead, I'll shower you with little reminders of our time together.

Remember the whirlwind trip we took to the zoo, where we dined on hot dogs and you picked up that snake? We spent hours sleeping after we were worn out that night.

The memories I've described - not flowers or jewelry or trinkets from the dollar store - define our love for each other.

So accept this humble card from this adoring child, my Valentine.

With hugs and kisses,

- (your name here)

For longtime love:

To my cherished sweetheart: Whenever I gaze upon your soulful eyes, I am overtaken with love. How best to show my everlasting love for you? While I'd like to shower you with diamonds and trips to exotic locations, with the economy and all, my 401(k) has seen better days. Instead, I'll shower you with little reminders of our time together.

Remember the whirlwind trip we took to Paris, where we dined on foie gras and you picked up that charming painting? We spent hours strolling around the city after we made love that night.

The memories I've described - not flowers or jewelry or sports cars - define our devotion for each other.

So accept this humble card from this humble servant, my Valentine.

With everlasting love,

- (your name here)

For young lovers:

To my hot babe: Whenever I gaze upon your awesome curves, I am overtaken with lust. How best to show my passion for you?

While I'd like to shower you with lingerie and body paint, with the economy and all, my meager savings account has seen better days. Instead, I'll shower you with little reminders of our time together.

Remember the whirlwind trip we took to the campground in the mountains, where we dined on toasted marshmallows and you picked up that case of athlete's foot from the dirty campground shower? We spent hours swatting bugs after we set up the tent that night.

The memories I've described - not flowers or jewelry or even decent camping equipment - define our love for each other.

So accept this humble card from this undeserving knucklehead, my Valentine.

With never-ending passion,

- (your name here)

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