Ladeeeeze and gentlemennn, your attention pleeeeze. Now coming in to spiel for the Colorado Rockies, No. 1, Buzzzzzz Coronaaaaaa!

OK, so maybe we're throwing in a little poetic license there, but that, in a salted-peanut shell, was the scene Monday night at the Sports Column bar in LoDo, where 17 pairs of tonsils gave rise to their vocal aspirations and tried out for the position of Coors Field public-address announcer.

"I am so focused on doing well - I'm ready to give 110 percent, 210 percent, if not more, for this position," said the aforementioned Buzz Corona, 40 - aka Michael Hernandez - a disc jockey from Pueblo who was so stoked that he looked ready to eat the microphone.

Eating was the furthest from the mind - and stomach - of Reed Saunders, 25, voice of the Colorado Eagles minor league hockey team.

"I'm trying not to throw up," the lad from Golden confessed.

But mere nerves weren't going to keep Saunders, a gamer in a purple shirt and purple tie, away.

"I'm ready. I know I am. The key is to just don't get in the way of the game. You just have to be a soothing voice in the background," he said.

The opportunity to trill out the first pitch of the season arose because Alan Roach, the only "Voice of Coors Field" the Rockies have ever known, decided to take his adenoids elsewhere after 12 seasons of introducing players, birthday celebrants, sponsors and ticket promotions. Roach, a KOA-AM radio sports guy whose voice is so deep it's practically subterranean and so resonant it can make your toenails vibrate, is also so good he's been stadium announcer at the past two Super Bowls. He also announces Avalanche games.

When you have this kind of résumé, you can afford to announce - as Roach did in February - that he was packing it in as a Coors Field staple because, in the true spirit of pro sports, "I want to spend more time with my family."

Roach's decision spawned the competition, which initially attracted 260 demo tapes. Curiously, only one came from a woman.

Not that the paucity of estrogen or Roach's retirement were lamented by Mark Andrew.

"I want this. I want this bad," said the 36-year-old creative director for KOA radio. "I went crazy when I heard Alan was retiring. Now I want to be part of the fabric of the Rockies' atmosphere."

A little less poetic was Mike Casey, a DJ for 99.5 "The Mountain" FM, who thought his edge was "I bring a certain human personality that people seem to relate to."

Since there were only humans in attendance at the Sports Column, you might think Casey had an edge. And, truth be told, after the first round - an ad-libbed self-introduction that showcased some pretty powerful pipes - he was one of 10 to survive.

Still standing as well were Conor McGahey, the silver- throated voice of Magness Arena, and Chuck Woodford, who likely endeared himself by relating how he was in the stands for the first homer in Rockies' history, as well as "the game Mike Lansing hit for the cycle."

Later, Woodford thought he did "pretty good," but admitted, "Intestinally, I'm freaking out."

Feeling like he'd been kicked in the gut was Corona, who didn't make the cut, turning the evening into a real Buzz-kill for his son, Michael, and daughter, Jessica.

The second round consisted of having the guys read player introductions for both the Rockies and a visiting National League team that were sandwiched between some in-game promotional announcements.

In between booming baritones launching a few "Todd Hellll-tons!" and "Ryan Spillllborghs! the room endured a run of "King Soopers Grocery Giveaways" and "Home Run for the Homeless" incantations.

True, it wasn't exactly Chekhov, but for some, the pressure was brutal. Although McGahey's voice wove his spiel as tight as a Persian rug, the hands holding his script weren't just shaking, they were vibrating.

Apparently, tremulous hands were not a deal breaker as far as Roach and his fellow judges were concerned. After 25 minutes of deliberations, the field had been pared to a final three. And, as event emcee Keith Bleyer, of Fox Sports Network, is fond of intoning, "in no particular order," the wholly happy trio turned out to be the mellifluous McGahey, KWGN-TV traffic reporter James Hudson and the likable Saunders - he of soothing voice in the background and the rolling tide of nausea in the viscera.

The final round consisted of each guy being handed a script purposely littered with misspellings and misinformation. The idea here being that, inevitably, script mishaps happen and anyone who ascends to the throne as the "Voice of Coors Field" has to be able to think fast and make mental corrections on the pop fly.

And then, quicker than a southpaw's pickoff move to first base, the game was over. McGahey smiled with relief. Saunders said he was "overwhelmed." Hudson said, "In a word, I'm very excited."

Considerably slower will be the wait to learn which man takes the prize. To keep things interesting, the Rockies aren't letting their judges have the final word about "the Voice." Instead, the team is going to an online vote, giving their fans the right to make, well, the final outs.

meadowj@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-954-2606

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