I have long had this theory that people who marry people they look like will be the most happily married. Before you naysay, with the "what about Bob and Mitzi, they don't look alike, and they've been married 700 years," I have one thing to say: Ha.

Because last month's issue of Ladies' Home Journal, that bastion of scientific research, had an item verifying my personal observations. I was so excited that I ripped the page out of the magazine at the hair salon, while glancing around to see if anyone was glaring at me (oh, don't get so high and mighty on the subject - who among us hasn't defaced a magazine to get at Oprah's favorite cake recipe?)

Mind you this item was on the same page as an article on what position you sleep in and what it says about you psychologically, but so what? All that matters here is that I was right. But we digress.

Now then, let me hit the relevant points from the item: Each of us stores the image of our own face in our brain. When we meet someone with similar features, "we judge them to be attractive because our brains don't have to work as hard to process the familiar contours as they do when we see faces markedly different from ours."

This mental path of least resistance may also explain why one man's Teri Hatcher is another man's Eva Longoria: "Your understanding of beauty depends on what you've been exposed to before - what's easy on your mind," says a professor in the article.

I guess this explains why people are attracted to "types." And why everyone thinks his or her baby is beautiful. (Both of mine were beautiful. But that may explain why bald-headed guys were always stopping me at the mall to admire their sweet little hairless heads.)

So, what about Bob and Mitzi and their fabulous marriage? I have two things to say: Scratch beneath the surface (carefully, who knows what you'll find) and/or check out the kids. If you turn the kids one way and they look like Bob, and you turn them the other and they look like Mitzi, then clearly there was a whole lot of subliminal something going on. Forget about Mendel and his peas, I'm giving you the real skinny on how genetics work.

After you've looked in the mirror, evaluated your spouse and turned your kids like kaleidoscopes, there's probably something that you're still wondering: What about those sleep positions anyway? In the interest of saving someone a public-magazine- ripping fine, here's the scoop, according to Dr. Samuel Dunkell:

• If you sleep on your back, you're confident. "Many kings slept this way, and it's a pose that assumes everything is coming to you."

• If you sleep on your side, you're emotionally and socially secure.

• If you sleep on your stomach, you like to be in control. "They're hands-on, face-to-face types."

• If you curl into a ball, "you're sensitive, cautious and introspective - literally wrapped up in yourself."

And before you can ask, no, that's not me.

Marty Meitus is the food editor when she's not sleeping on her side. meitusm@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-954-5229