After months of training and days of deprivation, it ultimately came down to motherhood and Mother Nature.

For it was these two inexorable forces that made Diane Van Deren blink and decide to drop out of Alaska's 350-mile annual Iditarod Trail Invitational adventure race.

At least she would have blinked if she could have.

"There were a lot of times on the trail that it was so cold that my eyelashes were freezing together under my goggles," says Van Deren, 46, one of Colorado's elite ultrarunners. It is Tuesday, and she is swathed in the relatively balmy climes of her Sedalia home, recalling the 70 degrees below zero windchill she encountered.

"I'd have to take my goggles off - put my mitt over my eyes to melt the ice on my eyelashes."

Then in a voice percolating with disappointment and awe, Van Deren added, "It's just incredible what Mother Nature is capable of. Her power is indescribable."

So is Van Deren's maternal instinct.

Looming as sharp as the wind and cold was her sense that she had to return to plan her son's April 2 wedding. A Marine, Mike Van Deren is to be deployed to Iraq six days later.

Of course, the urge to get back was also likely exacerbated by the fact that for two days - as winds along Rainy Pass shrieked past 40 mph and blizzards turned sight to blindness - she was hunkered down at Lake Puntilla, pummeled by the arctic fury.

Worse, she was minus teammate Kami Semick, who had succumbed to a wrenched hamstring muscle three days into the race. Saying goodbye to Semick was "very emotional."

Semick's exit left Van Deren as the race's only female runner, but it didn't leave her solo. She soon hooked up with Italians Marco Berni and Ricardo Ghirazdi, a fun-but-quiet union limited by language.

"Our conversations were basically limited to 'yes,' 'no,' 'OK,' and 'pee,' " laughs Van Deren.

Weather trumps confidence

The impasse was hardly what Van Deren expected. The woman who overcame eight years of crippling epileptic attacks to emerge as a gifted ultrarunner had left Knik Lake on Saturday, Feb. 24, full of confidence.

She ran for 24 straight hours, towing her 40-pound sled, her red parka standing out like a crayon against the relentlessly white landscape.

Despite brutal head winds and a windchill around 60 below, the first few days "were great," meaning terrain that was "packed, hard and freezing cold" - the better to run on.

She arrived at Lake Puntilla - 170 miles into the race - "feeling great, feeling strong."

Then Mother Nature took over.

At 3:30 a.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 28, Van Deren set out for Rainy Pass.

Quickly, "horrendous" winds erupted. Temperatures plunged to 62 degrees below. The trail vanished, leaving runners to break trail in thigh- high snow. After eight hours, they returned to the lake's spartan lodge.

On Thursday, Van Deren "ate and ate and ate - refueling," waiting out another day of storms.

Then things got "really ugly."

Dropping out is tough call

On Friday, they slogged into a blizzard where Van Deren "literally could not see four feet in front of me." A minus 70 degree windchill made it a struggle to keep her mates in view. The wind erased footprints in five seconds and raised such a cacophony that screaming was the only way to be heard.

Ghirazdi pulled Van Deren's ear near his mouth and invoked two new English words: "Don't die." Then he pointed back toward base camp.

Amid the hellish winds and arctic air, Van Deren decided to drop out. It was the right decision. The smart decision.One she instantly regretted.

By Sunday she was home. She was happy. She was miserable.

"As a professional athlete, we're wired a little differently. We're wired to continue, to fight, to not give up. "

Three days later, she still wakes up at 3 a.m. Darn, if only I'd kept on.

She sits there in the dark and tells herself, "I know in my heart I could have completed it if Mother Nature wasn't so harsh."

With her back-and-forth runs up Rainy Pass, she figures she ran 210 miles - 140 miles too few. So far, 14 of 33 people have finished the race.

One too few.

Now she tries to put Alaska out of her mind. Mike's wedding is what counts. So is visiting with her daughter Robin - home from college.

Without being asked she says, "I'm already planning for my next event - a 150-mile run in April (in Illinois)."

Quiet.

"That's four days after Mike leaves for Iraq," she says softly. Motherhood has trumped Mother Nature. No more ferocious winds and bitter temperatures. Now the turbulence is in her heart.

More information

• To read an earlier profile of Diane Van Deren, go to RockyMountain News.com/drmn/news

• To read about the Iditarod Trail Invitational, go to alaska ultrasport.com/latest_news.html

meadowj@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-954-2606

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