GATES TO TAKE STAGE

Secretary of Defense Robert M. Gates will get his first crack at addressing future military leaders at the 2007 Air Force Academy graduation ceremony May 30.

Past graduation speakers include President Bush in 2004 and Vice President Dick Cheney in 2005, followed by Gates' predecessor, Donald Rumsfeld, in 2006.

Let's check in on Rumsfeld's pep talk from last year:

"The war is more than a contest between opposing sides or opposing societies. These extremists are waging a war against society itself. They have in mind only two outcomes: to control us or to des- troy us."

FOR THE LAST TIME

"To all my new friends in Aspen: For the last time, I don't want any cocaine!"

Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, named Man of the Year at the Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen during the weekend

STANDING BY

Too little, too late, Doug.

Extra! could have used a little help digging out from this winter's relentless snows, and Denver City Council at-large candidate Doug Linkhart was offering - but not until Saturday night.

Linkhart decided to offer up his snow shoveling services for auction at the Colorado State Democrats' 74th annual Jefferson-Jackson Dinner during the weekend. No word yet on who won the use of Linkhart's back, but, uh, Extra! hopes they get their money's worth after this week of 60-degree temperatures.