Want some gruel with that?

The relentless nags at the Center for Science in the Public Interest in Washington, D.C., are at it again, seeking to fatten the federal bureaucracy, burden restaurants with more rules and starve some of the pleasure from a family night out.

The group wants Congress to pass a law requiring restaurant chains to post the calorie levels and other nutritional information on all of their standard menu items.

The worry is that, in the words of Executive Director Michael Jacobson, large meal portions "are seemingly designed to promote obesity, heart disease and stroke." So restaurants want to make their customers ill . . . or kill them? Where's the market for that?

"Burgers, pizzas, and quesadillas were never health foods to begin with, but many restaurants are transmogrifying these foods into ever-more harmful new creations, and then keeping you in the dark about what they contain," Jacobson continued. Oh, the humanity.

We do not minimize the health risks posed by an unhealthy diet. But we also have a decent appetite for freedom and responsibility.

Rep. Rosa De Lauro, D-Conn., plans to reintroduce the Menu Education and Labeling Act, which would force all restaurant chains with at least 20 outlets to publish nutritional info next to the name of every standard menu item.

"Daily specials" and "temporary menu items" would be exempted from this law - so some chains would jump through this loophole by offering "seasonal" selections.

Even if restaurants figured out the nutritional content of a standard serving, those figures are no more than ballpark figures. A chicken breast fillet could easily weigh one-half ounce more or less than the norm. Likewise, the chef could accidentally drizzle an extra quarter teaspoon of Hollandaise on your Eggs Benedict.

The food police could prevent neither.