WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. - Madonna with only 180 calories has a caramel flavoring and is covered with the doughnut-maker's original glaze.

That's a joke, right?

No way Krispy Kreme, maker of some of the most dietetically incorrect (and tasty) doughnuts around would ever do anything that goofy. A doughnut, after all, is time when we give ourselves permission to NOT toe the line.

Sadly, it's no joke. The Associated Press story was true: The company is making a whole-wheat doughnut. And shame on them.

Krispy Kreme sales started slipping three years ago as the company expanded its operations during the height of the low-carbohydrate diet craze.

What? This was the first diet craze during Krispy Kreme's existence? The company's been around since 1937, for crying out loud. You don't have enough fingers and toes to count the diet crazes that have come and gone in that time - and none of those seemed to slow down the doughnut maker.

Executives also had to sort out an accounting mess, with the company's board concluding that two former executives were trying to "manage earnings" to meet Wall Street expectations.

Now we're getting somewhere. Greed, not some low-carb boondoggle, laid low the doughy beast. And now they're going to solve it with a low-calorie doughnut? What? Suddenly marathoners are going to want to trot in for one? It's not even some caloric quantum leap: at 180 calories, it's only 20 calories less than the store's flagship glazed doughnut.

"The Krispy Kreme Whole Wheat Glazed doughnut delivers the delicious taste that our customers have come to expect from us," said Stan Parker, the company's senior vice president of marketing.

Stan, this just in: Your customers don't expect a tasty low-calorie doughnut! They expect the tasty, unhealthy relief Krispy Kreme delivers from the diets and health warnings that greet us at every turn these days.

It's more than a little depressing that one of the last bastions of unhealthy eating seems to want to throw in the towel. Frankly, they shouldn't be adding a healthier doughnut - they should be adding an unhealthier doughnut.

Of course, this isn't just about doughnuts. It's about all of us, from big companies to the little people, not staying true to ourselves. Everyone seems intent on fitting in, even if it makes us look ridiculous.

Can you imagine the meeting where they hatched this idea? "Hey," someone probably said, "we serve 29 unhealthy doughnuts. If we add one healthy doughnut, our problems will be solved!"

I know, sounds crazy. But the fact that the company is rolling out this low-cal treat illustrates how many people in that meeting told the company to stick to its unhealthy guns.

Reversing this tidal wave of conformity isn't an easy job; it might even take longer than Al Gore's global warning jihad - and don't count on an Oscar, either.

So get started today by going to Krispy Kreme, or any doughnut shop, and treating yourself to a dozen of the most unhealthy treats they have. Then go to the company's Web site (www.krispykreme.com/contact.asp) and send 'em a note about how silly it is to roll out a low-calorie doughnut just because some rogue executives tried to pull the wool over Wall Street's eyes.

I mean, if we roll over for this dumb idea, what's next? Diet Coke?

Taking a bite?

Are you going to try Krispy Kreme's new low-calorie doughnut? Or will you refuse to eat something healthy from the doughnut maker you've come to count on for a guilty pleasure? Cast your vote online at:

RockyMountainNews. com/drmn/Spotlight

No more celeb news?

Last week we asked if you were going to stop watching tabloid reports on the likes of Britney Spears, Anna Nicole Smith and Lindsay Lohan. You said:

• No more! 88.7 percent said "I'm done wasting my time on that trash."

• Staying the course! 11.3 percent will keep watching because "it's way more interesting than other news."

Joe Rassenfoss is the entertainment editor. 303-954-5410 or rassenfossj@RockyMountainNews.com

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