Judie: Fourteen years ago when the Style Matters gals gave birth to two darling baby girls, we never thought we would face the dreaded milestone - shopping with a teenager.

Evelinda: This conflict couldn't possibly happen to us. We're fashion experts - we know what the Miss Style Matters girls should want to wear. But instead of winning the Nobel Peace Prize, we need a U.N. negotiating team deployed at our local Urban Outfitter's dressing room.

Judie: We talked with some moms and daughters to see how they handle the tension.

• Naomi Lyle, 14, says she fights with her mom, Jeanne Sellers Lyle, a nail technician at McCauley's at Tamarac Square, depending on what stores they're in.

"I want to be in BB Mart (on Colfax Avenue, two blocks west of Havana Street) for three hours," Naomi says. "My mom wants to leave after a few minutes. She says BB's clothes are too risque for a 14-year-old to wear. My mom doesn't like me to show too much cleavage or hips. Mom likes Hollister, American Eagle and Abercrombie & Fitch, because she can sit down at those stores."

What brings them together? They both like to shop ARC thrift stores for deals.

• Linda Babbidge, a teacher in the Aurora school district, helps her daughter, Emily, 13, understand the value of a dollar.

"I earn money for my clothes by baby-sitting and getting an allowance," Emily says.

She advises moms to keep "an open mind" when shopping. Yes, and SM thinks an open wallet, as well.

• Community volunteer Mary Ann Wolicki and her 13-year-old daughter, Jenny, always look at the sales racks first. Then, if Jenny still wants to buy an item at full price, her daughter pays the difference.

• Reptech Vice President Eileen Shaw has the solution to the aggravating problem of girls who buy clothes, but don't wear them.

"With my 17-year-old daughter I have instituted a rule that if she does not wear the new clothing (because she cuts the tags off the clothing, and then decides she does not like them), she has to pay me back for them," Shaw says. "That has reduced her spending on clothes she 'kind of' likes."

Her daughter, Ashley Baldwin, who's on a budget, doesn't mind shopping with Mom. Why? "When she's around, there's always 'extra' money to add to my set budget," she says.

Racks and reins

1. Give your teenager a budget.

2. Agree beforehand to spend more money only on clothes the teenager expects to wear often.

3. Make a deal that you both have to agree on the clothing. If either of you veto an item, it goes back on the rack.

4. Use the shopping time as an opportunity to bond. When moody teenage girls feel happy about a new purchase, they are more likely to open up and share issues.

5. Go to cheap stores first, like Ross Dress for Less or T.J. Maxx, to buy the basics.

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