Question: When does roughhousing get too rough? My boys - 8, 9 and 11 years old - are constantly wrestling, punching and teasing each other. If I tried to control this behavior, I'd be yelling all the time.

Answer: Rowdy play is excessive if someone gets hurt, if it disturbs the peace of the household or if it causes damage.

Give the boys some responsibility for regulating their behavior. If one child is acting out, can the other two disengage and find something else to do? It's not good to encourage tattling, but it is OK to talk about choices for solving problems.

Their routine should include plenty of active play. Indoor play should include a variety of options to play together or individually.

Arrange the boys' rooms and play areas to accommodate cooperative play. Crowded play space is sure to result in conflict. Have toys and play materials organized to be easy to find and to put away.

Don't wait until the play escalates to an unacceptable level before redirecting the kids to more appropriate activities. When they get overstimulated, it's good to separate them and set a 15-minute timer for playing quietly on their own.

Q: My mother-in-law expects weekly visits but does nothing to make our kids feel comfortable. They can't sit on the furniture or touch anything in the house. How can I make her be more reasonable?

A: You can't make your mother- in-law do anything. If your husband isn't willing to negotiate with his mother, you're obligated to behave courteously and make the best of the situation.

Make your visits brief and bring along a no-mess activity for your kids. Stay pleasant and relaxed, or your children will find it difficult to be cooperative and play quietly.

While it may be a challenge not to take Grandmother's restrictions personally, be a good role model for your children and accept that at her house, she makes the rules.

Have a parenting question? Call the Family Support Line, 303-695-7996 or 877-695-7996, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily. Family Support Line is a program of Families First, sponsored in part by the Rocky Mountain News.