A stitch in time saves nine - years that is.

From '70s Australian surfie girl Kathy Lette, A Stitch in Time takes a wry sucker punch at the 39-going-on-40 career woman/wife/mom/am-I-still-attractive set with a story that can only lead to accounts of plastic surgery.

As if we weren't already down for the count.

Stepping through Lette's wrinkle in time, Lizzie McPhee is the picture of domestic bliss. She has a résumé chock-full of reporter-on-the-scene-in-crisis adventures that have earned her a cushy anchor chair on BBC News. Her husband, Dr. Hugo Frazer, is a hottie do-gooder physician hopelessly devoted to her and her two adorable children. Her former supermodel sister Victoria and neighbor Cal round out a loving and supportive cast.

Despite the coming of another year, Lizzie is content to not have won a Nobel Prize or had sex with Ben Affleck (although Lizzben has a nice ring). Even sister Victoria's shared secrets to spice things up a bit in the bedroom, have a little "work" done or go on a diet fall on deaf ears.

This is the point, unfortunately, at which we realize all good things come to an end. For Lizzie, age does not bring wisdom. It brings adultery and all the silly, stalker-like tendencies that come with it. It brings unemployment, because bad news around the world doesn't necessarily seem so bad when a hot young thing (rather than a middle-aged matron) reads it to you. And, it brings an insanity the likes no man has ever imagined.

When Lizzie catches Hugo in a compromising position with it-girl actress Britney Amore, somehow his God's honest-truth explanation that the hormones made him do it but he didn't really want to and now he's over it, doesn't seem to ring true.

And because Lizzie is more brains than beauty, she never lets an opportunity to launch a zinger at her roving husband go by. She's hurt, she's shocked, she's devastated by the turn of events in her life, but not once does she choose to have a serious conversation with her husband, her sister or her trusted neighbor about her problems.

"You're still seeing her, aren't you?" She accuses Hugo. "Well, go on, then! Contract the antibiotic-resistant bacterial strain of your choice and pass it on to your wife. Why not?"

But Hugo, tired of maintaining his innocence, moves on to deliver a bigger and better blow to Lizzie. He's planning on trading in his doctor-do-good white lab coat for an Armani suit, funded by his partnership and practice in the Longevity Clinic - because you're never too young to think plastic surgery.

Don't stand in Lette's way now, she's on a roll. Chin roll. Butt roll. Belly roll. Those annoying underarm rolls. Hey, if you can't fix it, stitch it.

Stories of age angst are what Lette does best. She is considered a national treasure in her native Australia primarily because her first book, co-written at the tender age of 17 with then-best bud, Gabrielle Carey, was groundbreaking and risqué at the time. The book, Puberty Blues, was eventually made into an "iconic" Australian film in the early '80s.

Lette's style is quick, witty and unforgiving. If there's an opening, she always takes it. But don't count on Lette's heroine to wash that man right outta her hair and stand on her own.

Lizzie's desire to stand by her man unlocks some dark twists in the second half of the book. It's too late to turn back, though. Your nosy neighbor-next-door instincts get the best of you and you must forge ahead. But never fear, Lette is an experienced time traveler. She won't let you down.

Melissa Pomponio is a presentation editor at the Rocky Mountain News.